did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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