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On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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