Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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