dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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