I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
