just come out here and I will go home with you...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
