im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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