i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
