I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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