i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
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im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
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I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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