but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
