Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
