So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
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