I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
