I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
