Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
