i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
