I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We are two peas in an std pod
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
