ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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