with your own penis?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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