im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
