I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
me + whiskey = a bad person
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
