Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the condom got lost in my hair
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So many bounce houses so little time
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
