just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
