and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
