Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
