Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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