While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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