I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
