got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We have so much sex to catch up on
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
