I intend to get homeless drunk
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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