Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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