he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize