He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
