There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
honey bunches of taint.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
