I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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