I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
This is my gift to your gina
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
