so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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