Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
