fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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