I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
