Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
