There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize