She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
