And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
