when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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