i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize