there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
