On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
