I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
he just fucked me for my cheese..
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
