Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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