I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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