You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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