pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.