Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
