I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We got so high we made milksteak
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!