remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize