I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
