I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
