She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
