Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
