i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
