My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
